A Gentle Reminder That Your Friend’s Victories Are Not Your Failures

jealous of friends
Photo by Anna Shvets

As we get older, we are scrutinized by others regarding our successes. But the most painful part is when we begin to dissect and pick ourselves apart; we focus on and magnify the failures.

We begin to analyze everything around us, the achievements of close friends, colleagues, and even family members, slowly keeping track and adding fuel to the fire.

Do not perceive a triumphant moment your friend has as competition. Do not see their victories as a setback for yourself. Seeing your friends succeed is wonderful and should serve as inspiration. Don’t lose sight of your potential. Things get toxic when that need to win begins to cloud your judgment, and you obsess over what others have gained.

Recently, I’ve noticed some close friends ending friendships because of jealousy. Connections of decades fizzling overnight because one person could not handle the successes of another.

Don’t be jealous of what your friends have because you do not know the work they have done, the battles they have endured, and you are living your story filled with just as much importance as theirs. Why risk a friendship of years over something trivial? Remember that you are unique.

We never truly know the battles that other people are dealing with internally. Some people can navigate things on their own, powering through without anyone’s help. So, we could become oblivious to the times they faced their hardships and struggles. Just because it may appear that your friend has had it “easy” does not mean it is a fact. Social media can present a skewed version of things. Remember that just because things look a certain way does not mean the struggles didn’t happen.

We all have our own mountain to climb.

The media can be addictive because we get to keep up with everyone 24/7 and view the glamorous sides of other people’s lives. Social networks are a great mechanism to stay in touch with close friends, family, and other loved ones. However, they can breed a toxic environment, especially when we play the comparison game. Excessive scrolling can make us wonder just how successful we are.

You are living your story even if society pressures you into setting some unrealistic expectations. We are conditioned to think that we are failures if we have not accomplished a “major” goal before the age of 30, and that is simply wrong. These standards might push us to view everyone as competition. It begins to impact our relationships with those important people in our lives.

If you feel that jealousy is getting in the way of your relationship with a best or close friend, it’s time to do some inner work and healing. Start to see the positive qualities in yourself and work your way up from there. By appreciating and giving ourselves our own love and adoration, we can make a great impact.

Why risk a friendship over something so insignificant?

Good friends are hard to come by. Do not let your emotions overtake and blind you. Focus on the positive qualities people have brought to your friendships and what you have learned from them. We need friends because humans are social beings. Also, it is good to have a friendly competition between each other since it can push you to work harder and manifest your dreams. Things only get toxic when you secretly envy what they have and start to ask, “why not me?”

Friendships are rough to preserve, so when we have solid people in our lives who care and are inspired by us, it’s heartbreaking to end them. Jealousy is normal and common in all forms of human interactions. But when it begins to cloud our judgment and brings out the ugly side of us, it’s best to take a step back and think why the successes of others, even the ones we love, might be making us feel so insecure.

Remember to trust your abilities and your vision so you can feel empowered by all your accomplishments. Root for the people in your life that have been there for you and love and care about you. Don’t let an emotion crumble a powerful connection with valuable people in your life that you consider family. We may meet thousands of people throughout the years, but only a few worthy ones receive the honorary title of a friend.

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