Reflecting on the past year, I realize this is the most here and now I’ve ever been.
I’m living without pressure on the future or struggling to understand the past. In essence, I feel like I am learning to embrace the moment in a considerably more meaningful and mindful way by just accepting that I exist.
This has allowed me to start to get to know myself differently. To understand the things that bother me in this moment, or that make me happy, or make me sad, or make me… I don’t know, hungry. And just observe them instead of controlling them.
It’s even allowed me to not think at all sometimes. A much-needed break. To kind of just sit with my body and my heart, in this body and this soul in my heart, and just be, be with it, without trying to push it down roads, up hills, over mountains, across seas. To let it just float in this time and in this place where all I can do is exist in it.
I feel very compromised by the human condition at times. It feels like we always have to be on the go, becoming, doing more, doing better, competing, fighting, gaining.
It’s exhausting, and I know I’m not alone.
The fighter is in me and always will drive me, but I don’t push her while she’s in the ring anymore. I build her up. Give her the water breaks she needs. Let her take a breath before her next move. Let her be coached. Let her make a plan, and let it unfold, so she can actually embrace it and consciously enjoy it while it does.
If I look around in this moment and recognize that everything around me is something I’ve manifested with the love and support of others to guide me, then I know for sure I’m in the right place at the exact right time. I am letting the here and now just be as it will, so all unfolds without me trying so hard to make it so.
I have the rest of my life right now, right here. Happening as it will.