Asking For Help Shaped Me Into The Strong Woman I Am Today

asking for help
Photo by Rawan Yasser on Unsplash

Never underestimate the power of asking for help.

For years I struggled, thinking I would find the solution to my problems on my own.

I believe that the answers to the uncertainties that your mind creates are within yourself. And even though you might feel stagnant and unable to reach those answers, neither giving up nor constantly looking haphazardly is truly healthy.

That’s when the guidance of someone walking by your side and helping you to light up the way is essential.

Two heads think better than one.

I used to think I could deal with any adversity in solitude; rather than involving someone else in my life and making them witnesses of my worries. Yet, with time, I’ve learnt that our mind is not a place to hide the things we don’t want to see—our shadows—so we can forget they even exist.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could open our mind, the way we open a box, throw in there the thoughts that we wish to forget and simply close it?

Well, you know, that’s tough; because it is actually quite the opposite.

Our mind is a space of free entry and exit in which both positive and negative thoughts gather. Now I come to realise that it is those negative thoughts that tend to harm me the most; sometimes even affecting my body. In my case, the weight of these thoughts triggers intolerable headaches.

But it’s not just me. This is something that affects everyone.

Your negativity may not result in migraines, but you might experience the lack of light in your life differently; and only you know how that makes you feel. Stress, anxiety, negativity; all those shadows that chase us at certain moments in our lives end up using our bodies as messengers. And the content of the message is not good news; at least, not the news we’re hoping for or expecting.

Many years ago, I was struggling to find mental clarity and inner peace; while fighting against anxiety, headaches and nerves. My mum opened an alternative door for me I had never considered before. She introduced me to the path of yoga.

For me, at the age of twelve, this practice was a whole new world. The gates into the realms of adulthood, a place where kids didn’t step into. At least, in my yoga class, there was not a single kid; it was just me, surrounded by all these adults with impressive flexibility.

The first time I found myself face to face with this practice (after listening to my dad’s very amusing story of a funny humming sound you have to make at the beginning of every class) I battled against the anxiety of not knowing what I would do once the room went silent; strangers around me closed their eyes and, all in unison, we’d start chanting ‘Om’.

What if I was just like my dad, and I burst into laughter the minute I opened my mouth; unable to hold the ‘Om’, and unable to stop giggling?

Luckily, no laughter came out. But thank goodness people had their eyes closed because, otherwise, they would have seen me chanting ‘Om’ with a grin in my face.

Even though the class started began with joy, it ended up taking me to an unexpected finale.

To my surprise, after my very first experience with this practice, I started feeling dizzy and ill. Every little thing I had piled up in my head, everything I’d kept for myself, was released in an unpleasant manner. My fear, my shyness, my incapability of relaxing: all of those factors were putting a strain on my neck and back, causing me unbearable headaches. The smile on my face quickly vanished, along with any hope of having a good time.

Fortunately, that was a one-time thing. It was like a stumbling block I had to surmount in order to approach a healthier lifestyle. And ever since, yoga has been a truly extraordinary path; one I am still discovering that helps me connect with my mind, body and soul.

That is how the practice came to me. I opened myself to someone I trusted, someone who enlightened me and provided me with this tool that, without me being aware it would, helped with my spiritual growth.

Now I can even do a headstand (Shirshasana). Before that, I could barely do a forward roll. Flexibility is not the goal of yoga, but I surprised myself with what my body has the power to do.

Asking for help when I needed it shaped me into the woman I am today. A woman who can see when she needs a hand, who loves her body, and better understands her mind.

I think it is important that we learn how to understand ourselves, and the support and wisdom of others can be extremely valuable for our journey to that understanding.

So please, don’t be afraid to ask for help. It doesn’t make you less brave.

Nevertheless, if you think asking for help means disturbing people, think carefully who you are speaking with. This person should be someone who lights up your soul, and is always willing to make time for you.

When the frequency of your vibration is high, you attract things that vibrate the same way. With your good heart and positive energy, you’ll connect with people that will be more than happy to lend you a hand. In fact, it will make them feel valued. It might turn out to be enriching for both of you.

Think before ignoring or suppressing the cry for help that your consciousness is making. It could be telling you that, instead of continuing to search for answers within yourself, it might be time to look elsewhere. Or that what you thought was the answer is actually not the answer, because you’re asking the wrong question.

It can be difficult at first, but not everything is lost. Eventually, you’ll notice that your head is above water and that you are not actually drowning.

You are not alone. We all need help sometimes. Where will you look first?

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