Discovering You Is Beautiful

discovering you
Photo by Flora Westbrook

Discovering you is beautiful. Like how we found out our moms used to sing us the same songs as kids. Or finding out that we used to play with the same toys. It kind of feels like part of us have grown up together.

It’s funny how the universe works like that. It intertwines people’s stories only to reveal to them later that they were maybe in the same places at the same time. Sometimes I catch myself wondering if maybe you were sitting at the coffee shop at the corner table across from me. What if I met you then? How would our lives be different? Would our story still turn out the same way?

It feels crazy to think that the person who stands before me has lived an entire life before me.

You took your first steps and stumbled. You played sports after school, went to birthday parties, and maybe even got detention a few times. You asked girls out only to be rejected; you broke a few hearts yourself. You went to prom, graduation, college, and graduation all over again. Sometimes, I find myself jealous that I wasn’t there for the milestones. I drift off into thoughts of big prom-posals and long-dressed dances under the lights of a high school gym. I think about going to college parties, finding ourselves together, and navigating the early years of our adult lives with each other. How would that have shaped us into different people than we are today?

I do believe that God has a plan, and I believe part of that plan was timing. Maybe both of us had to get our hearts broken and break a few of our own to love each other like we do. Maybe we had to face our own darkness before we found light in each other. Part of me aches every time you tell me about your past struggles. How would our lives have been different if we were there for each other’s battles? I wish I could have been there to help you through yours or at least let you know that you don’t have to go through it alone.

Here is something I have learned: love does not fix everything.

Naïve me always thought it would, but love doesn’t take away the pain this world can and will dish out. Love doesn’t prevent loss or heartbreak; love itself is full of heartbreak. One thing, however, that I have learned about love is that it reminds you that you never have to go through any of it alone. That means everything to me. I know there will be battles. There will be loss, and there will be heartbreak, and some of that heartache we will probably cause to each other. But at the end of the day, we will come back, together, hand in hand, to go through the darkness. That gives me hope.

Discovering you is discovering love for the very first time. Sometimes, I feel like a toddler navigating walking for the first time. I stumble over the silliest things, but you’re always there to help me figure it out. Discovering you is like connecting the dots of my life. You make everything make sense, and I feel the most at peace I ever have with you. Discovering you is enchanting, magical, messy, and the biggest adventure of my life all in one.

You have and continue to help me discover myself, too, and in deeper ways than I ever have. I feel as if you are the first person to see me as a truly am and accept me for that while pushing me to always strive to be better, out of love and recognition of my potential. I hope I do the same for you. I hope we never stop discovering each other as we discover this big world and all the life out there for us, together.

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