Don’t Shrink Yourself To Make Others Comfortable

Don't Shrink Yourself To Make Others Comfortable
Photo by Andrey Zvyagintsev

Empty people will talk about you, even months after you left, as though you are still there.

Albeit, not everyone or everything deserves our time.

We need to be disciplined about what we respond or react to so that we aren’t expected to tolerate any unwanted behaviours. We are allowed to choose our inner circle respectively, and therefore can leave any relationship that is not serving us peace.

To what degree should we ever be made to feel bad for putting ourselves first when it comes to our mental health, especially by those who are emotionally draining us?

We need to prioritise our own health even when it’s inconvenient for others, otherwise some of our best decisions would be influenced deceptively.

You have nothing to prove to the bystanders; the whisperers; the lightweights. Nothing at all; for you are not always how others see you.

There’s no need to over-explain yourself if it feels wrong.

The best thing I ever did for myself was recognize the people who were not good for me, step out of their drama, take a deep breath and say, ‘sorry, not sorry… but I decide how I spend my time because I am valuable.’

—Stephanie Bennett-Henry.

Always remind yourself that your peace is more important than something that doesn’t deserve your energy. The more you focus on things that wear you down, over time you will become worn down. The more you teach your brain a negative language, the more you will begin to speak a negative language.

This also goes for your self-perspective, and that is where it becomes dangerous. You begin to see yourself as not enough, when in-fact: they are not enough.

Imagine that you’re ever so peacefully sat by the rollercoaster with candyfloss. You have already been on the rollercoaster, and it wasn’t your cup of tea. You prefer to sit comfortably by the side embracing your surroundings and being grateful for what you have. Somehow, you find yourself back on the rollercoaster; pulled in all directions.

You ask yourself “how did I end up back here?” And that’s because you were caught up with people who do not fully listen to you, in spite of consistently talking at you. You wound up in a word-vomit with a toxic person, who took advantage of your kindness, and bamboozled you.

Always choose not to argue with people who are committed to misunderstanding you.

With that in mind: always remember that when a flower does not bloom, we change the environment, and not the flower. Yet, we are busy doubting ourselves because others are intimidated by our potential.

I am not prepared to shrink into places I have outgrown just for somebody else’s comfort. I would not feel comfortable being a watered-down version of myself just to please temporary people that I don’t even care about pleasing.

Live your life as though nobody is watching and that will be the realest and happiest version of yourself.

Decide what kind of life you want to live, set your boundaries, and then say no to everything that isn’t that.

If you fear the solitude that comes with raising your standards, then you won’t ever find new doorways. You will always be surrounded by uncertainty and diverted by set-backs.

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