It’s Time To Normalize Being Single

normalize being single
Photo by Polina Tankilevitch

Oh my, you’re 34? You should get married already!

Their shock doesn’t shock me anymore.

I don’t understand why people see being single as a curse. They look at you as if you’re ugly and no one wants to marry you. They judge you as though you’re not lovable enough, and something must be wrong with you. They keep on asking why and it’s not even rhetorical. They want answers. Right now.

After a few minutes of staring at each other and realizing they’re waiting for an answer, I trace back my thoughts. I’m tired of shrugging all the time and saying that it is what it is. It’s time to answer truthfully and seriously.

And so, I said:

“This is what the Universe gave me in this lifetime, so I’m going to make the best of it.”

Then I continue boasting about the things I have been doing with my life that are so fulfilling. That’s when I noticed how lucky I am to be proud of where I am. I hope other women like me are proud of being single too.

Aside from total freedom, being single gives you more time to spend with yourself. You get to discover hidden truths, build your career, help your family, pursue other dreams and establish stronger connections with anyone.

Being single does not mean you lack anything. Yes, you don’t have a romantic relationship. But that doesn’t equate to being incomplete. There’s nothing wrong with not having a boyfriend, a husband, or any form of romantic relationship. Always remember that you were already a complete person the moment you were born.

We are not required to get married at a certain age. It’s not an ultimatum that you have to settle down by the age of 21. We don’t have a deadline for when we can meet our special someone. I honestly don’t know where that idea came from… Patriarchy? This is the wrong mindset, and we have to change it.

If we want to normalize being single in our 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond, we must cultivate respect in society. Society has to learn how to respect our decision to stay single—to live our lives however we please. No one has a right to question our choices in life. No one should be meddling in how we want to live our lives or push us to do things we don’t want to do. Let us enjoy our singlehood.

This is our life. This is who we are. We are not in a hurry. There is no rush. Trust in the divine timing of your life.

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