Dear college students,
Many times in life, we wish we had done things differently. We wish we had handled things better. We wish we could rewind those moments that make us cringe or stiffen up every time we think about them.
But, I have a question for you.
Would we still be the same after that?
The truth is that every choice we make leads us to a different path.
I’m sitting here in the comfort of my room and typing this while it’s raining outside. In my first year, I embarrassed myself by shutting down a group of housemates indirectly after they waved at me at a house event while I came back from class. I cringed for a solid 30 minutes after that.
Sometimes, it’s hard to let things go. It’s hard to realize, hey, it’s over. There’s nothing we can do to change it. But our mind refuses to. Our first instinct is to blame ourselves. But is it really our fault?
Sure, maybe we could have handled it better. But we didn’t. Perhaps that means that we’re not ready yet. Now, I’m aware that this does not apply to all situations. But it does to mine, so I’m gonna use it. My first year of university was terribly hard. Harder than anything I’ve ever had to do in my life. Sometimes, I feel like a part of me was never ready for it.
But, I adapted eventually. I had to, to survive there. But the point is, I did.
I stopped putting pressure on myself to do everything a college student does. Because it takes time to grow into someone you’re not already.
I’m not the kind of person who hangs out easily in groups. I’m not the kind of person who knows how to. I’m not the kind of person who walks in a room and doesn’t get all clumsy. And I realize that some of these things may have to change soon. But not yet. I gave myself permission to not give myself a hard time if I can’t change these things yet.
So, here’s to you doing the same. You are not a failure for not being able to do certain things you want to do or expect yourself to do. You are not weak if you want to hide sometimes. You are not a disappointment if you ever want to quit. Sometimes, quitting doesn’t mean you’re weak; it means you were strong enough to let go.
So, let go. Do the same here. Quit this thought. Quit letting it affect you.
And no matter what, always remember, you have you, always. You have time, always. You have family, always. And you have love, always. In so many places.
You are a college student. Trust me, it’s one of the hardest things in the world, no matter what people say. For some people, it’s just the toughest damn thing we ever have to do. And you’re doing it! Yes, no matter how many days you feel low or cry or want to quit and don’t, you’re defying your inner critic and actually doing it!
You’re proving it, simply by being, that you are strong. You are patient and impatient at the same time. But that’s okay. You are still you.
Even if you’ve stopped smiling for the past few months, you still giggle when you see something pure. You still feel fuzzy and at peace when you snuggle in your bed with a book when it’s raining outside. You still feel like jumping up and down when you walk in nature. Your heart still flutters and beats faster with hope when you read an inspirational quote on Instagram. Yes.
These little things? Do you know what they mean?
They’re telling you. That you’re still you.
So, please, have faith.
Trust the process. And breathe.
You’re going to be just fine.