Maybe I’m A Slut, Maybe I’m Just An Empowered Woman

Maybe I'm A Slut, Maybe I'm Just Empowered She Rose Revolution
Photo by Roberto Nickson

The word “slut” should be abolished.

How is it that in the 21st century the social construct of the slut persists in modern dialogue?

And why is it often women, rather than men, who choose to speak about each other in such a demeaning and spiteful way?

Two words: the PATRIARCHY.

Society has long taught women that, due to the process of natural selection, they are in competition with each other to find the most attractive mate and complete their one life goal of successful reproduction.

To achieve this, women must undermine and discourage one another to appear more attractive to the male gaze. We are taught that women exist merely to satisfy the sexual desires of men.

Hence, many rightly equal activities, i.e. sex, have been considered solely from the male perspective. Sadly, it is a rarity to find a man who aims to pleasure his partner as much as his partner pleasures him.

While I can admit that society has come a long way—most men (I would hope) don’t expect women to orgasm from penetration alone—there is still a long way to go.

However, I believe that a lot of the “work” has to be done by women.

Women are not and should not be in competition with each other. We are already being discriminated against in society, so why exacerbate that discrimination by degrading each other? At best, it’s pointless; at worst, it’s hurtful and damaging.

Like many people, I used to view other women from one of two perspectives—to feel better about myself, or to feel worse.

For example, I would often have thoughts such as “she’s fatter than me” and as a result I would feel superior in my slim body. Conversely, I would look at attractive and accomplished women and feel inferior.

I am now trying my best to applaud the beauty and strengths of other women without allowing this to negatively impact the perception I have of myself. My internal dialogue now goes something like this: “she looks amazing–good for her!” or, “her mind is phenomenal–I really respect that.”

I no longer assume that I know what other people are going through. Like me, every woman has strengths and weaknesses, but to compare yours to someone else’s is nothing but problematic.

Instead of undermining the “competition” in our quest for men’s approval, women need to appreciate and admire each other’s strengths without being jealous or or secretly yearning for equal success.

If women respect and support each other, men will be encouraged to do the same. This is how society will change.

So let’s not be calling each other sluts, because at the end of the day, what even is a slut? Is a slut not just an empowered woman?

And why is there no equally degrading word to describe a man?

It’s simple. Because men are the ones deciding what is and isn’t acceptable, for themselves and for women.

But that can change. Women don’t have to put up with this anymore.

I, like every woman, have a voice; and I’m no longer afraid to use it.

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