Shall we take a moment to appreciate all the toxic people we have encountered so far?
Yes, you read that right.
We express our gratitude towards people who support and encourage us on the path we wish to walk.
What about the others though? Why don’t we ever propose a toast for them?
Believe it or not, this article is about them. The ones with a sole driving force based on pulling people down so that they can pull themselves up.
Let’s have a closer look at toxic people, shall we?
What do they do? Why do they do it? And where do we meet them?
Well, it’s quite likely that you bump into them anywhere you go.
They come and go—that’s what they do. They are very good at shapeshifting, too.
If you’re a person of many dreams, chances are you’ll end up dealing with some of them at some point in your life. It’s as if they have this magical power helping them smell the excitement of life and love within a mile.
The thing is, they use this power only to discourage people around them. And that’s a shame.
But as cynical as it may sound, I think we really should value their contribution to our lives.
These people—who produce all kinds of excuses to be unhappy—are always in search of attention; and when they receive it from you, things go from bad to worse. They’ll bombard you with all sorts of negativity that you can imagine.
By negativity, I mean demotivating messages, draining phone calls, insinuations and lies.
Moreover, if you do not want to accompany them in their unhappiness, they will do anything to turn your life into a living hell.
But, what they do not know is that they can only do that for a short period of time. As a matter of fact, these kinds of people are the best source of transformation you can ever see.
That being said, the ego of such people is too big that they tend to not care about the consequences of their actions and words. You will meet them at an early age when you’re fragile yet fearless, know too little about yourself and the world. Which is exactly why I find their presence and contribution quite necessary.
Thanks to them, you’ll face your weaknesses. Thanks to them, you’ll see how harsh reality can be. At the end of the road, what awaits you is a new you.
I used to stay away from people just because of the possibility of getting hurt. That was my biggest fear. However, at some point it dawned on me there was another dimension of my fear. What if it was the images of those people in my mind being damaged, that was bothering me more. I guess that was my way of avoiding disappointments.
Nevertheless, I’ve met them almost everywhere. In love, at work, in the environment of friendship. The things they are capable of saying and doing are unthinkably incredible.
I was fooled, lied and bullied, probably countless times.
My dreams were belittled and my feelings were taken advantage of.
My time was stolen.
That’s how I thought, at first. But I was wrong, very wrong indeed. My time would only have been stolen if I had let them be around me.
They’ll make you believe that you are either perfect or a loser. They’ll make you believe that the world is a bullshit place. And that your dreams are certainly unattainable.
Things may even get to a point where you begin to feel that there’s something wrong with you when it’s actually them.
If someone treats you poorly, then that’s what they mean to do. You do not need to look for any other reason, nor do you need to justify their poor behaviours. What you need to do is to release yourself from such poisonous ties.
Many of us try to help these energy-draining people, forgetting that it’s our self-confidence and interest they want to steal away from us. After all, how much can we help someone who preys on our goodwill?
Toxic people have a few characteristics you may have already been subjected to.
These involve using one’s love to foster low self-esteem. Criticizing every piece of effort. Speaking and expressing every tiny detail about their lives, without caring to listen to others in return. Defining their existence only through consumption.
The good news is that as soon as you get rid of them, you’ll begin to realize that you are stronger than ever.
Once you see this selfish and pessimistic side of people, your definition of loving and caring grows wiser.
Thus, you’ll naturally be drawn to people who are not fighting against life but dancing with it. People who are generously showing love and affection, and are not busy hating. People who seek honest communication, not a pack of lies.
So, here’s a toast to our past disappointments. Without them, we would not have become the empowered women we are today.