One piece of advice I wish I could give every woman today…
What would it be?
It’s difficult to choose just one thing, but if I had to, it would be this:
Question everything you’ve ever been taught.
By your parents, teachers, family, friends, co-workers, and your mentors.
The magazines you browse through, the TV shows and movies you watch, the books and blogs you read, and the social media channels you scroll through.
When I think about the ideas, opinions, and beliefs I was surrounded with growing up; some of them still align with me, while many of them conflict greatly with my own belief system today.
But when you’re a child, or a naive young adult, you’re susceptible to taking on other people’s beliefs as your own. Without question.
How many times do you hear children repeating things they’ve heard their parents say, without truly understanding what they’re saying?
And it’s not our fault. Because we’re often taught not to question things.
At school, we’re not rewarded for speaking out, disagreeing or arguing with our teachers. It’s often the same at home with our family. And when it comes to our friends, it’s often easier to agree or stay quiet, instead of voicing what we really think or feel.
We live in a world that encourages and rewards following rules, and obeying orders.
A world without any rules would probably be equally dysfunctional. Somewhere in the middle would be just right, but at the moment we’re heavily out of balance.
As girls, we’re often taught not to be difficult, or argumentative, or loud. It’s not seen as ladylike or polite. This is very different to the message that boys receive growing up. And I think this is another reason why we choose not to question things we see or hear in our daily lives.
We’re accepting. We’re very open to receive – a feminine energy – which can be exploited by the toxic masculine if we don’t have clear boundaries in place. This is why why women are more easily manipulated by advertising and subliminal messages from the media.
This inner need to please and be good can hinder us from thinking freely for ourselves, and lead to us taking on other people’s opinions as our own. Even though our soul doesn’t truly align with those beliefs.
And this creates inner conflict; a war we’ll continue to be caught up in until we do question those ideas and beliefs, and decide whether we want to keep them or not.
How many beliefs do you currently hold that are not truly your own?
Do we truly believe that having and enjoying lots of amazing sex – the same way men do – makes us bad, or a slut?
Or did we hear some guy at school shaming a girl that way?
Do we believe that wearing sexy lingerie, skimpy swimwear, and micro mini skirts means we’re asking to be raped?
Or was that what we heard our dad saying one day while watching the news?
Do we think that breast implants will really help make us feel more confident and empowered within?
Or is that just because we scroll social media, and see celebrities with implants living what appears to be a beautiful, empowered life? And the marketing mavericks know exactly how to exploit our insecurities, and make us feel like we’re not good enough the way we are?
Do we believe everything that’s written in the Bible, because it’s the Bible so it must be true?
Or is there a chance that the Bible is a heavily biased and somewhat nonfactual book, because it was written entirely by patriarchal men with an agenda?
Do we believe life is about going to school, getting a job, and counting down the years until you retire so you can finally start living?
Or is that just what we see everyone around us doing, so we think we don’t have another choice?
Question everything. This is the advice I wish I could give every woman. It’s the same advice I wish someone had given me when I was much younger.
The only time I’ve ever been actively encouraged to question someone else’s beliefs and opinions, was when I did my first yoga teacher training.
Luckily, I’ve always enjoyed learning new things, and valued self-development, which has meant I’ve consistently sought out new ideas and information – particularly over the past five years.
And this has helped me create a very different belief system to the one I inherited growing up. A belief and value system that aligns with my soul, and the woman I came here to be in this lifetime.
You have been taught to follow the crowd, and accept what you’ve read and heard your whole life. And my advice would be to encourage you not to.
I encourage you not to blindly follow the rules, or take orders, or accept what you’ve been told.
I encourage you to question all of it. Everything. And when you’re done, ask some more questions.
Form your own ideas and opinions and beliefs.
Make your own rules, and live freely and fabulously by them.
Forget about pleasing him or her or them.
Do what you want to do, because it makes you feel happy, and liberated, and empowered.
Even when you’re afraid of doing what they told you not to. When you’re worried what awaits you outside what you’ve always known.
Give yourself permission to make up your own mind. To think different thoughts, and feel different feelings.
Question everything you’ve ever been taught, or heard. And don’t ever stop questioning.
This is the advice I wish I could give every woman today.