Here’s the truth – quitting my job to build my own business has made me unemployable.
Highly unemployable – for many reasons, and on many levels.
And I’m not saying that in a negative way. It’s not good or bad, it just is.
Anyone who has started their own business from the ground up, will understand how stressful and all-consuming it can be.
They’ll know what it’s like to wonder if you’re going to be able to pay the rent this month. They’ll know what it’s like to feel completely alone, because your friends and family just don’t get it. And they’ll know what it’s like to be filled with doubts and fears; those toxic voices in your head telling you to give up because you’re not going to make it, so why bother trying?
It’s often in these moments that you’re forced to face your reality, and be completely transparent with yourself.
Because even if you’re on the right path, and you’re doing what your soul came here to do, sometimes, the money won’t come. Sometimes, it is time to call it a day and go a different way. Sometimes, you realise what you thought you wanted isn’t really what you want at all.
And that’s okay. It is.
But lately I’ve been wondering, what would I do if that was me?
What would I do if the money wasn’t flowing in, and I had to get a job?
It has been three and a half years since I quit my last job, to become a writer, travel the world, and sing my own song.
More than three years since I had to crawl job sites and send out a million resumes, take orders from some asshole, and live for the weekend.
If I had to get a job, I mean, if I had kids to feed, rent that was overdue, or a sick parent that I needed to take care of, I honestly don’t know what I would do. Because it has dawned on me that building my own business has made me unemployable.
I have a real problem with authority. And I don’t like taking orders. I don’t want to waste two hours of my day every day getting to someplace I don’t even want to be, then spending another nine hours of my life doing shit I don’t want to do. I like being able to start work at 6am, then go for a walk on the beach in the middle of the day while the sun’s out. Sometimes, I like to write at my desk in my kimono robe. Other times, I like to write naked. I have a low tolerance for grey cubicles, and hierarchies of people. I want to be rewarded for all the time and effort and love that I pour into something. And I refuse to wear a dog leash, that allows me to clock in and out of a building.
Every day, my heart wants nothing more, and nothing less, than to make magic.
I no longer know how to say yes sir, no sir, sit at a desk the whole day, and do what I’m told.
I don’t know how to kiss ass to get a promotion, or be grateful for a measly check at the end of each month, or wait until I retire to finally start living my fucking life.
But here’s what I do know.
I know how to write and publish books, host retreats, build pretty websites with code, make online courses, set up home 7000 miles across the world, file a tax return, and dream up an empire in a day. I know how to teach a yin yoga class, that will give you permission to cry out the tears you’ve been holding onto for a lifetime. And I know how to lead women back to their power.
I know how to love Fridays and Mondays, in equal measure. I know how to try and fail and try again and fail again, over and over, and keep getting back up. And I know how to take bold risks, do things that scare me every day, and live a full, authentic life I’m proud of.
You see, building my business has made me wildly unemployable.
And you know what? I love that. I have zero regrets about it. It is what it is.
Anyone in business, who has managed to push through those inevitable challenging times, out to the other side, will know how thrilling and beautiful it can be.
They’ll know what it’s like to wake up in the morning and be excited to begin work. They’ll know what it’s like to have the freedom to design their day and their life the way they want to. What it’s like to feel like you’re completely in control of your own destiny. And they’ll know what it’s like to have a dream, and watch it come true.
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