It’s Time For Women To Set Our Own Expectations

set our own expectations
Oleg Ivanov - Unsplash

It’s time for us as women to set our own expectations.

We, as women, are constantly judged and scrutinised against a relentless, societal timeline of expectation. A pre-approved agreement that has been institutionalised, by which we are torn apart if we should ever choose to stray, or rebel.

It’s never acknowledged. but there’s no mistaking that horrified look when you dare to say children aren’t in your plan. That you want to travel solo. Or that marriage isn’t necessarily for you.

Yet, in the same breath, we are facing more pressure than ever before to fulfil this unobtainable utopia of “new era women” that can do it all.

The expectation of having a successful career, whilst raising children, with pre-birth bodies, to look immaculate whilst having our emotional well-being in control and the perfect, shiny partnership.

Doing okay is simply not enough.

You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Don’t be too skinny, too fat, too emotional, too cold, too confident, or too shy. You’re not wearing enough makeup, or you’re wearing too much makeup. You’re unambitious, or too career driven. Shamed for being single, and shamed for divorce. Shamed for not being a mother, and shamed for being a mother that works, or one that doesn’t. You’re shamed for showing skin. And shamed for letting yourself go.

We are constantly striving to reach this perfection that doesn’t exist. And we will never be that ideal. This fanatic idea of who and what a woman should be is always changing and evolving. Almost as if to ensure it stays unattainable. So we, as women, never feel good enough. Because we never meet this fictitious expectation, which makes us question our self worth.

What society wants us to be is based on current trends. But women aren’t trends. We were not placed on this earth for the satisfaction of others. And we must satisfy our own needs to truly be fulfilled.

Women could achieve so much more if we were freed of these shackles of expectation, judgement and comparison. And somewhere along the way, we miss what it’s all about.

Who are we trying to make happy? Because it’s certainly not ourselves.

So essentially, we’re chasing this ideal, that doesn’t exist, for the approval of who?

A partner? Family? Society?

And we’ll look back, when we’re old and time is limited, and realise we spent our precious time obsessing and picking ourselves apart. And it didn’t make a difference. It added nothing of value, only stress, anxiety and unhappiness.

So, is it really worth it? Is chasing this unattainable perfection the answer to everything you’ve been looking for?

I think it’s time that we, as women, woke up and set our own expectations.

We have no limits. We are capable of so much more. Know what you have and what you contribute. Be confident enough to set your limits, expectations and boundaries.

We cannot be categorised as women and given a one size fits all dynamic. Because we are all individuals, and we all bring something different to the table. We are a hybrid of personality, strength, talent and knowledge. And it’s about time we collectively started encouraging each other to share that, make it known, and make it heard.

It’s not always easy trying to establish your identity or place as a female in this world. But challenging the status quo is more important now than ever before.

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