The most important relationship you will ever have in your life is the one with yourself.
This is why, if you have undergone trauma (and I’m almost certain that most of us have experienced trauma in some form), it is important to address the emotions that come with it. Because once we can pinpoint the source, we can begin taking steps towards healing. And only then are we fully equipped to understand why we sometimes gravitate towards certain individuals; certain situations, scenarios, places, and things.
And I know how uncomfortable healing can feel at first if you’ve never given yourself the space to do so. Because healing from trauma is fucking hard. It hurts. It’s painful; and brings up everything your mind, body, and soul have barricaded in. But when we understand why we are hurt, only then can we begin to heal; or at the very least find healthy coping mechanisms that help us navigate life.
It doesn’t matter how the pain was inflicted; it is our responsibility to seek out help so that we can heal and grow from that experience.
But this is far easier said than done. Because healing isn’t linear. Somedays you are going to feel fine, while other days will leave you shattered and feeling defeated; and that’s okay. Rest. But do not get too comfortable; do not stay in that place.
You owe it to yourself to feel safe in your body and to feel at peace. It’s your home. Healing will not feel good at first. But it will help you release everything that you’ve been holding onto. As you start to release, layer by layer, you will start to feel lighter. Releasing all of that pain, hurt, shame, and regret will open you up and create space for new emotions; positive ones that will help you re-build and grow. And that will help you feel safe; in your body and your relationships.
Your mind, body, and soul deserve to feel good and you owe it to yourself to seek out peace within yourself. It makes life better for yourself, and for those around you.
Think about berries. When there is one berry going bad and you ignore it, you know what happens to the rest of the berries. They go bad, too. However, had you removed that one berry, the rest probably would’ve been okay.
And just in case you don’t eat as much fruit as I do, perhaps that did not resonate. What I’m trying to say here is, if there are parts of you that you haven’t healed and processed, eventually it will leak into other parts of you, and beyond. You will bleed onto others. Because hurt people; hurt people.
Please, stop ignoring it. It’s far more painful to live a lifetime suppressing and numbing. Although in the beginning it can feel like too much if you stay committed to the process, in the long run you will be glad you did.
We need to be better for ourselves. For the next generations and this planet. Because when we heal ourselves; we heal one another.